Latest posts

  • Sunday Funday

    The “Beatles” aka Logie Family and our longtime friends, the Gignacs, brought the party to Mesa Verde today. It was a celebration indeed. I won’t tell all the details, except that Vernon was moved to tears many times. I sense a softening is happening, as it should. Here are some pictures, I’ll let them tell the…

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  • Here Be Dragons

    Last night, after posting about Anxiety, I colored in one of Justine’s drawings that she had made earlier in the day. In this picture, Ursula turns into a dragon (with memories of her old self in thought bubbles) while Ariel smiles on. This makes me think of Rilke’s words: “How should we be able to…

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  • When You Walk Through the Storm, Hold Your Head Up High

    This has been a surprisingly rough week for me emotionally so I haven’t known what to write. In the state I’ve been in, running fears and feelings over in my mind, I’ve had to come to term with a new place in the journey. I won’t go into detail because I’m not ready to share…

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  • Recharging

    Vernon has seemed pretty out of it the past few days (apparently since Saturday, according to Joe.) In the mornings I’ve been at Dialysis with him, I noticed that he hasn’t been acting as sharp. He’s been very uncomfortable on the chair, though he hasn’t mentioned wanting to die again, thank God. He hadn’t had…

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  • Away and Back

    It seems that I always have a little blue-day after a getaway, especially when I hit the ground running. In this case, I was only gone a few days, so I didn’t really expect it. Well, I didn’t know what to expect, actually…I never do with Vernon. When I went to see him this morning, his…

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  • 9 Year Mark

    September15/16: best of times/worst of times. As you already know, I love my birthday and try to squeeze as much enjoyment out of it as I can. My wedding anniversary, which falls the following day (I’ve never liked that) is kind of hard—well, the last two. It’s not a fun day to celebrate anymore. Of course…

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  • Adulting

    I love having a birthday in September…and having it right smack in the middle of the month, with a good solid odd number takes the  birthday cake.  It’s a great month for reflections and new goals because ever since I started going to school at 4, September has signified the time of year when summer holiday ends,…

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  • Sunday Dreaming

    A special guest joined the kids and I today on our Sunday visit. Melissa Disney is like a sister to me, one of my closest friends, but since she is a working mother who lives in north LA, she can’t get down to visit Vernon very often. We were lucky enough to get her overnight by…

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  • Allies Among Us

    Last night was “Back to School Night” at the High School. Hard to believe it’s been only a year since I went alone to Maki’s school  for the first time last year. Gosh, I was a wreck by the end of the night. But I’m a different person this year.  So is he. “Alli, you really…

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  • Heavenly Signs

    I got a voice message from Mesa Verde yesterday morning: “Vernon doesn’t want to go to Dialysis. He says he wants us to talk to you.” I laughed out loud before calling back. This was the first time the care home has ever called because Vernon wanted to talk to me. (I got a call from the Speech…

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