Latest posts
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A Grief Observed
“I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process.” “For in grief nothing “stays put.” One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope…
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childrearing
Vernon. You told me how you wanted to raise these kids. I didn’t always agree with you. But now I’m now I’m on my own trying to do it both our ways. I was doing fine until you keep showing up in my mind. Now I keep doing it your way, despite what…
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Letter from an EMT
I got a surprise letter through FaceBook this morning which really touched me. I remember this person, as I spoke with her many times. She was one of the ambulance staff that took Vernon to dialysis five times a week over the course of two years. Hi, I’m not sure if you remember me. I’m…
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On the Death of the Beloved
Death is one of the main things in life that connects us all. It is a major part of life—we know that but we don’t like to expect or accept it in our culture. It’s inevitable—we all have that in common. Sometimes I imagine we are all in a long metaphysical queue (like at the grocery store, just…
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Anxiety
“I try not to worry about the future – so I take each day just one anxiety attack at a time.”— Tom Wilson Let’s talk about anxiety, shall we? When I’m not busy DOING something, or actively taking care of the kids, I find my breathing can suddenly change, my heart rate goes up, and if…
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Vernon’s Bio/Slideshow
Here are some more bits from Vernon's memorial on Sept 11. Chris, his best friend, read the bio. Stick around for the slide show afterward. It's full of love. How does this sound? Vernon Paul Adams was born to Joan and Keith Adams in 1967. They lived in Bournemouth, a seaside town in southern England.…
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Maki’s Eulogy
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Blessings in Disguise (a Eulogy)
Yesterday’s memorial was beautiful. So many treasures to ponder. But for now, I’ll post my notes for my little eulogy. I can’t say I stuck to the script, but you’ll get the gist. At the end, I’ve posted a video of the song played immediately after. I think I’ll be listening to it on repeat all…
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Please Help
Dear friends: Thank you for your sympathy in these last few weeks. If you would be so kind as to share this fundraising link, we would appreciate it ever so much. It’s clear that there will be no settlement with the other driver, after all this time…and the future is (as always) uncertain. Thank you…
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The Bends
Here’s a drawing I made while Vernon was in a coma. It’s was my best picture for what things felt like at the time. Going underwater with him, hoping to pull him back up. Here’s a drawing I made last night at the table while Maki made his own drawing. It’s a bit of how…